lost from within
by letsfindawaytogether
Summary: hatred is born from pain, as love is born from compassion. is it possible to love when you can no longer love yourself, let alone anyone around you? what happens when you bring the most annoying person close to a person that is filled with nothing but pain and hatred, find out on lost from within. gaaraXnaruto


The story is mine, the characters I used are not please dont steal my story

January 2 1996

6:31 AM

A child was born into the world,everyone adored his cute little nose, and alarming red hair certainlty set him apart from other babies.

his mother K **arura l** oved her child dearly, more than anything in the world, she had been married to her husband Rasa for 11 years. The child's name was Gaara.I was usually a well behaved child, I did as I was told, always got good grades. At 11 years old my parents separated,my mother wanted nothing to do with me and gave full custody to my dad. Five years after their divorce he suffered a heart attack and died ,his girlfriend took me in. When I entered my junior year in high school I got my first crush, His name was **Deidara w** **e were in the same grade.** he was the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on, When ever I looked at him I wanted to

Run my fingers through his long blond hair and stare at his beautiful blue eyes all day long.

his nose was pierced on the right side of his round baby face, but nothing lasts forever eventually everything turns to bullied everyday changes you, the bullied become the bully. In the wild you are either prey or predator, it just so happens to be the same in humanatie as well.I eventually became known as a monster, the kid no body messed with unless they wanted a trip to the 't matter who it was

If you fucked with me, you would regret it.

Chapter 1

Who am i?

" Gaara get up, it's time for school. Don't make me pour water on you because you know I will!" a voice can be heard screaming outside of my bedroom door. groaning I sit up in my bed; the curtains are closed thankfully so my room is pitch black. Well it was….she comes bursting into the room, without knocking I might add. And turns the lights on, causing me to hiss like a vampire.

'' alright already I'm up I'm up '' I say glaring at her

'' next time I'm coming back with a bucket of water and im going to pour it over your lazy ass '' she yells before walking out of my room, slamming the door in the process. sighing I get up and walk over to my closet; I pick out a random pair of skinny black jeans and a black hoodie. I get dressed and head into the bathroom that ' s connected to my bedroom and throw cold water on my face. I stare at my reflection. A boy with cold blue eyes stare back at me, he has messy red hair that hides his face when he chooses. His bottom lip is pierced at both sides. Hurrly I brush my hair, apply eye liner, brush my teeth and head off to school. Going down the stairs I walk fast, trying my best to avoid my mom. When I get to the front door I slide my shoes on, my hand reaches for knob.

'' don't you want to eat breakfast before you go? ''

'' no thanks, I'm not hungry '' I say as I slowly turn the door knob.

'' oh Gaara how you worry me, you lock yourself in your room and you never let any sun light in. you never eat anymore, is everything okay hunny ?'' No the love of my life left me, not that you would care let alone understand the pain that I'm in. there are times that I really wish I could confined in you about Deidara, but as soon as I say the word boyfriend you'll give me the ''Jesus '' talk and throw holy water on me. I turn around to face her and put on my best smile. '' Every thing's fine, I'm not eating that much because i've been eating a lot more during lunch at school, and don't worry I've just been sick lately. I'm going to hang out with rock lee after school tomorrow. '' you know I don ' t like rock lee, he's a bad influence ''

rock lee is my childhood best friend, my mom doesn't ' like him because he's a little fruity if ya know what I mean. ''mom you act like being gay is some kind of disease that can be caught. '' I say frowning. '' maybe because it is, there was a time when you were normal gaara. But then you caught…. _**it**_ ''

'' whatever mom, I'm going to be late for school bye" I say walking out of the door, slamming the door behind me. I honestly don't feel like going to school right now, maybe I'll go bug someone. I start walking a few blocks down the side walk until I come across a brick house. Going up the stairs I reach in my pocket and pull out a gray key. Putting the key in the door I turn the knob and the door opens. Slowly I step inside closing the door behind me. its pitch black but I could hear snoring from a room nearby, the front room. I wonder around until I reach the front room and find the light switch, flipping it on i squint my eyes because it's so bright in the room. Looking over at the couch I see Kankuro laying lazily down snoring loudly. he was fit like a foot ball player, but lazy like a video gamer. He had short brown hair and light green eyes. He wore black sweat pants and a white shirt. Picking up a nearby pillow I walk over to him and bop him several times with it till he woke up. Becasuse hey, what are cousins for right?

"Is there a reason why you're hitting me with a pillow?" He asked taking the pillow from me as he sat up my shoulders i sit down next to him and put my feet up on the near by coffee table. "Oh sure make yourself at home" he mumbled getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen. "Hey aren't you suppose to be in school?! Your mom is going to kill both of us if she finds out your skipping here"

"psst man chill she isn't going to find out. What she doesn't know won't kill her" I shout loudly so he could hear me over the clacking noise of dishes.

When he comes back I'm laid out on the couch fast asleep snoring.

 **Later on**

I was pretty late for school, that not I honestly cared. walking into school late I head straight to 5th hour and take my seat in the back of the classroom, kids around me are all talking excited about something. The bell rings and everyone takes their seat. The teacher starts blabbing about todays assignment when suddenly the classroom door opens and a boy walks in. he looks to be about 16, far too young to be in a senior classroom. he wore a royal blue button down shirt, along with jet black khakis that looked pretty new. His bright yellow hair irritated me, but His eyes were grayish blue, made it impossible not to look. "Ah, you must be Naruto the new student I was told would be starting today. There is an available seat in the back why don't you go ahead and sit there" the teacher said while pointing over to me sitting alone in the back of the room. "heh "Narutore plied before making his way over. The teacher started writing today ' s assignment on the board as he made his way over to the back of the classroom and sat down in the desk next to me. "Just great" I mumbled, as he sat down in his seat. "Huh did you say something?" " Not to YOU I didn't " Frowning I took out a notebook from my messenger bag and began to doodle, trying my best not to look over at him, not wanting to give him a reason to talk to me again.

That was the last thing I wanted to do was talk, let along make friends with him It's not that he really did anything wrong, that's just the way I was. Trust no one; friendship was unnecessary as far as I was concerned. Naruto tried to focus on the assignment that was due at the end of the hour, but the work only lasted for a few minutes and he was done. "So….what's your name?" he asked with slight blush on his face."My name is of none of your concern. How about we get one thing straight punk, I-don't-like-you I do not want to be friends and chat all hour about make-up and flowers or how cute justin bieber is. If you don't remember anything else remember this, leave me the hell alone and me and you will get along just fine " As I finished my sentence the bell ringed, I quickly gathered my stuff and walked out of the classroom before he could say anything else. As I walked down the schools hallway I debated whether or not I wanted to skip 6th hour, going up to my locker I turned the combination and dumped all of my stuff in it before shutting it closed and putting the lock back on.

I could hear someone behind me gossiping about the new girl, about how pretty, and how smart she is. Girls like that annoy me, stuck up- snotty- gossipers. I turned around to see just who it was gossiping sakura and ino the two most popular girls in the school. sakura was actually a cool person once you got her alone, but as along as she was with ino she was a bitch. I glared at them with serious hatred. Those girls lived as if life was so fucking wonderful. I hate that, walking into my second hour I noticed that rock lee wasn't there. This was the only class we had together, next hour was only a few minutes long and then all the seniors went to lunch. But since rock lee isn't here there's no need in me going to lunch since I don't eat the schools food, it's horrible. Taking my phone out my pocket I text him -Where are you-?

-Decided to skip school, didn't feel like coming-

-…..if you don't get off your lazy bum I swear-

-aww is gaara in a bad mood-

-no of COURSE NOT what would make you think that-

-girl you need to stop pmsing-

-what ever, you need to stop skipping school-

-I do what I want, you ain't my mammy-

As I read the text I could see rock lee rolling his neck, and snapping his fingers. Before I could even reply he texted me again.

besides since when do you care if I skip school?-

he had a point. Usually this would be the other way around and he would be telling me I needed to stop skipping. I guess if I was to be honest with myself I only wanted him here because of what happened last hour.

I don't. but I bet yo mammy will-

gasp. =0 you wouldn't dare!-

get your butt to school-

he didn't reply back and I smiled knowing that meant I had won.

The bell ringed and I took my time walking to the cafeteria. Feeling my phone vibrate I reach into my pocket and pull it out.

-be there in a sec-

Pushing reply I started texting back and didn't pay attention to what was going on around me, and walked right into to someone.

}Naruto pov{

I decided to skip going to my locker and go straight to next hour. The teacher assigned me the last seat that was available which was in the back of the room.

Walking over to my locker I put my stuff away and sigh. Already I'm starting not to like it here. But I know my mom won't let me change schools since that means she has to stop drinking long enough to be able to sign papers ."oh hi you must be naruto! I'm sakura and this is my friend Ino" a girl next to me says nicely. She has long pink hair that's curly at the ends. The girl next to her had short blond hair and blue eyes. Both girls seemed to be excited to meet me, they wouldn't even shut up long enough for me to talk.

"so how do you like our school?" sakura says talking fast. " oh my gosh we totally have to show you around" ino says in a girly tone. " yeah like totally" agrees sakura. The bell suddenly ringed and they dragged me off to the cafeteria. " oh my god you like totally have to try the salad its to die for" ino says putting it on my tray. " oooo and don't forget about our schools cupcakes, and there tacos and freaking awesome" sakura says putting them on my tray. by the time we made it up to the cash register before I could even do anything they paid for my lunch.

"thank you?"

Damn, now I have to eat it since they paid for it. As they walked me over to the lunch table they usually sit at, I listened to them talk about the school dance that was coming up and how I should like totally come. I didn't even see it coming when all of a sudden someone had bumped into me, spilling all of my lunch over my clothes.

}gaara{

Backing up I stare in shock at the mess all over his clothes. "oh crap um um I-"

"gaara look at what you did!" sakura yelled as she tried getting some of the food off with a napkin, but it didn't work there was too much.

"You need to watch where you're going!" ino yells walking up to me and pointing her finger right in my face.

" yeah you're so rude" sakura said backing her up pointing her finger in my face as well. Now don't get me wrong, I was going to apologize. But all this getting in my face and pointing fingers pissed me off. I bite my lip to keep from going off. Reaching into my pocket I pull out a ten dollar bill and give it to Naruto before walking away.

7th hour

Walking into the classroom I quickly walk to my seat, throw my stuff on the ground, practically throw my seat across the room, and sit down. "Why gaara, you seem to be in an excellent mood today," Mr. Nate, my anatomy teacher said. " yeah because I love your class oh so much Mr. Nate" I said glaring at him. "If you keep frowning so much your face might get stuck like that." God, what a douche bag. I put my head on the table and try to fall asleep.

naruto

I walked into Mr. Nates class 10 minutes late. "Oh, Naruto you are here. Why don't you go ahead and take a seat. " As I slowly walked to my seat, I saw gaara from the corner of my eye.

 _ **I-don't-like-you I do not want to be friends**_. Blood boiled in my veins. 'How dare he! Why did he say that I didn't even do anything? he is so annoying. I looked at him a second time only this time his head wasn't down it was up. And he was glaring at me. 'That's it! ' I walk up to where he is sitting and stand in front of him. "Mind telling me why you can't stands my guts when all I did was fucking say hi to you?" gaara looks up at me but doesn't move. "piss off'' he mumbled giving me the middle finger. I stood there speechless, and before I knew what was going on I balled my hand into a fist and punched him as hard as I could, knocking her out of her chair. The whole class went quiet and everyone stared at me as if I was crazy. Oh my god.I looked from my fist to gaara who was now getting off the ground with a murderous look on his up he spits out blood his mouth, grabs a near by anatomy text book and goes to hit me dead smack in the face with it. "You fucking son of a bitch- "

I close my eyes preparing for the pain, but it never comes. I open my eyes and see the book just inches away from my face. "gaara I thought we agreed since this was your last year you would behave?" Mr. Nate says shaking his head. His hand on gaara's wrist stopping him from hitting me.

In the principal's office

"Is there anything you would like to say for yourself gaara?"

David Watson our school principal asked, sitting behind his desk giving him the evil eye. "Sure" gaara says sitting up straight in his seat and clears his throat. " I would like to say how I just love how I actually didn't ' t do SHIT this time and this little boy walks up in here and starts fucking with me and you guys are acting like I'm the criminal "

" Well you were about to hit a student with an anatomy text book. Books are for knowledge not for smashing peoples face in. and it is hard to believe you when you have a history of being the school bully. "

gaara blushed and slouched back down in the chair mumbling something about unfair justice. " Now naruto, would you please tell me your side of the story? "

"well it all started 1st hour when I first spoke to gaara, I had wanted to be friends but he lashed out at me and told me to leave him alone or else. I was devastated, never in my life had I met such a rude person. And well in 7th hour I thought maybe he would have had a change of heart. So I went over and talked to him, he lashed out like a wild animal and attacked me. " As I finished my sentence I started crying. "You poor, poor child. gaara I do believe you owe him an apology. " "ha I don't owe him shit other than a punch in the face"

"that's it, DETETION!"

"What?! But he started it, I' m the one who got hit ask anyone ask . And you're just going to let him get away with murder?! " gaara screamed getting up out of his seat and got in the principals face. " Heres your slip enjoy your 3 days in detention" the principal says smirking as gaara snatches the slip and storms out of the office. Sweet, Sweet revenge.

{gaara pov}

They act like I'm some kind of monster or something. I mean sure enough I was the school bully and I stole kid's lunch money sometimes but hey, kids got to eat. And sure I bashed a couple of kid's heads in a locker once or twice. Ok fine more then twice. But they deserved it. There was a time when I was nice like naruto. I guess you can say that was back when I was "normal" once I came out of the closet and started dressing differently people started fucking with me calling me names. Throwing my shit on the ground and spiting on it.

After a while I got tired and said enough is enough. So I went from being bullied to becoming the bully. I mean it's not like I like being mean. Or that I don't regret what I said to naruto. But I mean I'm tired of fighting. After this year I'm out. And won't no body be able to tell me how to act or how to dress or who to like. I'm going to be my own person, screw what everyone else thinks. Now that I've had such a wonderful day I have to go home. More like hell.

I live with my step mom; ever since dad passed away she took me in like I was her own. We never really got along, and when I stopped being "normal" our relationship basically went down hill. I blame myself but it's not really all my fault. At least I don't think it is. I mean I get why she acts the ways she does. It's because of the "holy bible" that book that is supposed to be the greatest book ever written. That book that is supposed to tell us how much god/Jesus loves us. Yea well I actually read it a few times, and it's not so holy. If I was to write a "holy" bible, I wouldn't have sex in my so called holy book. And Jesus, um god or whatever doesn't so love. Once you decide your gay it's off to hell with cha. There's No, "but god isn't it your fault in the first place that I'm gay? I mean you say you're everywhere. So where the fuck were you when I was 10 and getting raped? Is it honestly my fault that I can't stand to even touch a woman due to the fact that some random stranger decided to steal my innocence away at such a young age?" so even if I was the best Christian ever born (which I'm so not) I'm still going to hell all because of the simple fact that I'm gay. In my book, that's enough reason to hate this so called god. Anyways so yeah, she basically just doesn't want her "baby" to go to hell. I guess if I was "normal" and in her situation I would think the same way. But I'm not so fuck that shit. It's not like she's exactly mother of the year material.

When I reached home trying my best to be a ninja I open the front door of my house slowly, sliding in I close the door behind me without even making a sound. I peak into the living room and the kitchen before quietly making my way upstairs to my room. And right when I'm on the last stair, it creaks. God damn cheap ass wood ruining my ninja skills, I freeze in mid step. "gaara? Is that you? " My mom peaks her head in the hall way, when she spots me she shakes her head in disappointment. "when I was your age I was so much better at sneaking in, it's called the window you should use it sometime Hun " sulking I went up the rest of the stairs and walked in the direction of my room. " your principal called "

damn. I just can't get a break can I?

"gaara I thought we agreed since this was your last year you would behave?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?! I don't remember ever saying that! " "well you did, and your grounded" I turn around to look at her and glare daggers. My step mom wasn't an ugly person, not beautiful by all means. But not ugly either. She had brown long hair and hazel brown eyes; she was in good shape for her age. Whatever that is, only god knows for sure. When I got to my room everything was gone. My computer, my iPod, my video games, everything. Now don't get me wrong, I can live without internet and video games.

But I cannot live without my daily dose of screamo music, that's like taking chocolate away from a pregnant women. This is all because of that bitch, what's his name um…naruto, it's all his fault I wish I never met him. he thinks he's all that because he's cute and smart. Wait I did not just call him cute; ugh he's getting in my head.

Alright guys if you want me to write more subscribe and leave a comment. =] ill upload the next chapter once I get 7 comments. 


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